My Life so far

Like the faintest fog I want my memories to leave me forever. Even though the storm is over, there is a deadly shower which causes me to fear my backstory. I’ve started anew again and again and again. it’s always ended with all my friends either abandoning me or betraying me…
I can’t even remember my past without the tears anymore. Once I cared about most people and would always cry if I saw a real death or a real war. But now, thanks to my experience to not trust those close to you or anyone I cannot give less a shit.
If you’re screaming in agony I won’t care anymore, but don’t you dare blame me. It is the fucking demons of my past, the loving friends I once knew are now like two devils working together and they both hurt me. They claimed they were innocent and thanks to their carelessness I changed.
Who cares if you’re being killed? Who cares if you’re in despair? Go to Africa or anywhere with starving, dehydrated, rotting, people. No-one gives a shit about anyone but themselves.
So since I was the black sheep I decided to change my selfless ways, I am no longer kind or nice to ungrateful scum like the ones I see every day.

Now everything is bright again. I’ve avoided the Xbox from those trolls and cunts I once knew, I’m now in school where everyone actually refers to me as ‘cute’ because of my laugh. My laugh has never been so active, but now that I’m in my new skin it feels good to be noticed for once. Whenever I turn to anyone from my year group they smile at me with the warmth to see me and I simply blush.
I’m not regretting anything anymore; I know feel loved and happy. I’ve settled in with my friends and think I’ve got a chance to actually start dating one. He seems nice, but rumours are that he smokes weed. I don’t know whether to believe it or not, but so far he seems to be the only one closest to me.
We have playful banters and chase each other round school and even troll in lessons just for the fun of it. My friends call it flirting and I do not know whether to agree or disagree. All I know is to not make the same mistake I did with my last relationship…